by Heather
On March 24, 2025, Loretta Ross visited LAM Collective to discuss her new book Calling In: How to Start Making Change with Those You'd Rather Cancel. Ms. Ross's unapologetic, raw, and engaging demeanor infused the conversation from the second she entered the room. Despite being a self-proclaimed introvert, Ms. Ross was forthright and open in sharing her deepest secrets as a model of dispelling shame. According to Ross, she “…choose[s] to share vulnerability, in order to demonstrate it is a strength. And no point did I want to be defined by the people who f--ed with me.” Her emphasis on kindness as a choice and dialoguing with those who hold opinions that differ from one’s own, was a refreshing perspective clearly detailed in her book as a component of the calling in strategy she has utilized for over 45 years as a feminist activist.
Many LAM members agree this was an easy to read and useful handbook for navigating conflicts inside and out of prison. For example, Jamie explained, “I'm sharing the lessons in this book with my two teenage daughters and want them to read the book to bring awareness to the current cancel and call out culture of today.”
Just like in her book, Ms. Ross's gift for conversational storytelling to illuminate a point was engaging. We all listened intently, rarely injecting a question that might stop her flow. We were like little children circled around the wise elder who was imparting strategies for leading a thriving life. Not just an activist’s life, but anyone's life. Beth shared that she “gained deeper insight into how to be a more empathetic and personable mentor, leader, and facilitator,” from our time with Ms. Ross. The knowledge she imparted can be applied directly to today’s rampant call-out culture, which is playing out in mainstream news media, online social media platforms, and our interpersonal relationships.
She answered our questions with raw honesty and a clear message that mistakes are part of the human journey. She offered the wisdom that we will continue to make mistakes throughout our lives. Ms. Ross continually reminded us that we can choose to listen to those with whom we disagree as a practice of calling them in to a new joint understanding.
Ms. Ross's vibrant and upbeat style was infectious, and she filled the room with joy and laughter. Although verbal about her struggles with addiction and mental health issues, like all of us in the room, she admits life is too important to succumb to negative thoughts. She shared with us that her ability to claim her faults and out her secrets first has strengthened her work as an activist, teacher, and political mediator. Her clarity of purpose, her work in America and internationally, and her resilience in the face of life’s challenges, is what makes her such a credible advocate for calling in techniques.
